The Ageism I Braced For at 40 Never Showed Up

The fear I carried into my 40s 

I turned 40 last year. And y’all, I embraced my 40s with enthusiasm and gratitude. As for my age, I have no qualms about it and never shy away from sharing it. At the same time, a little, teeny tiny voice in the back of my mind also voiced a fear. What if they want someone younger? I actually pictured it, in the dramatic, Lifetime-movie way my brain likes to picture things: some 24-year-old CD hops off a Zoom call with me, and thinks, “she’s fun, but let’s find someone younger.” I didn’t expect turning 40 to change how clients and collaborators saw me. I worried it would, and I waited for it cause the reality is, it might happen. 

This fear isn’t coming out of nowhere. I’ve watched the industry pull this move on women more times than I can count: the quiet fade-out, dressed up as “she’s great, but have you seen this fresh new talent.” There’s real research on this, not just my gut. AdAge ran a piece back in 2018 bluntly titled “Advertising Has an Ageism Problem,” and the industry’s been circling the same conversation ever since. A 2024 study in the Journal of Current Issues & Research in Advertising interviewed dozens of advertising professionals and found something specific: ageism tends to hit women earlier than it hits men, and women often feel pressure to put in extra “aesthetic labor,” staying visibly youthful, just to stay in the room. 

A year later, it still hasn’t shown up 

I turned 41 this week. And like I always do, I’ve been reflecting on the past year and how it went. 

For one thing, this has been my busiest year yet. Full stop. The busiest year of my career. I haven’t just been busy this year; I’ve been busy with large productions and large budgets. And you know what? My age had nothing to do with me booking or not booking shoots, at least in my view. My work, my confidence, and how I carry myself had more to do with it. 

At least, that’s my theory, and I’m sticking with it! 

If this sounds familiar, I want to hear it 

I’m curious if other people carried this same worry into their 40s, the quiet kind, not dramatic, just a background hum you don’t say out loud. If it’s familiar, tell me about it. Email me at mica@micamccook.com, I actually want to hear your version of this.